I need to say...

That I want to call my mother and talk about this heat. I want to talk to her about the drought. I want to talk to her about how we are 12 inches below where we should be. That the earth feels scorched. That it rained today.

Why did I not learn to make her potato salad?

Why was she sitting like a statue on my couch last week?

I ironed a blue pin-striped oxford for my daughter's senior pictures today. I flashed to to an outfit Penny gave her that I ironed for her six-month photo 3 years ago. Six? Ten. Not seventeen years ago.

When listening critically to The Who this weekend, sober, in the daylight and turned to a medium volume, I realized, they suck.

Where has Radiohead been all my life?

I love Jemellia Hilfiger. She is one of the funniest, wittiest, sweetest people I have ever known. I want to draw her close to me like a rag doll. Then slap her away.

I love my body. I am 47 years old. It has looked better but I have never loved it more.

I am almost over my nose.

I do not think it sucks to grow older. Once you have no parents you feel odd, young and vulnerable. I will never say that it sucks getting old.

I want to live and feel joy. Gratitude is the key. Guiltless is the way.

Did I actually fall for a Beck song? When did I start to love Beck?

I say "Yes" to tears and sadness. It somehow brings comforts. It's what lies under agitation and anger.

I will see my Shelley since the first time since mother's funeral. I texted her that I will probably break down when I see her. She said "Good! I won't be the only one!" That is what epic friendship looks like.

Stalking Sunrises

This sunrise is for my friend who ordinarily stalks sunsets.

She begins a long and arduous journey today.

While I know the way will be rocky, I am sure it will be fertile as well.

Noting the Presents

So, my birthday was last week and I wanted to share three fabulous gifts I received. I don't want to talk about the cake my husband ordered for me. Not yet. I haven't sewn nor knitted enough to be able to talk about it. I will throw one word out there...orange. Okay, that is enough.

My dear friend Penny sent a bouquet of flowers. She sent it early in the week which is so wise, so I could enjoy them all week.

Jemellia's gift is so pretty I have to start with the exterior and reveal in layers.

It is delicious when someone knows you so well.

Earrings from Elizabeth Williams. I had just finished complimenting Jemellia on her earrings which were EliWill of course.

And a coveted tote from One Hundred Wishes.

Without a doubt one of the best gifts I have ever received was this tribute in Angela's blog. I do not know what to say about it. I love it and am overwhelmed by it and it rendered me speechless regarding it for a whole day. That speaks volumes.

I feel the love.