Productivity's the Thing.

The last day of the year. It's the last day of a decade. I start the new year caring for my very sick mother in my home and face emptying and selling her home in the coming months. Daunting. She lived there for 50 years. I grew up there. I will face it with both resistance and determination. I am nothing if not productive.


Prosperity to me is productivity. I like to create but mainly I need to produce. I want something to show for my time. It is helpful to me to stand back and review what I have accomplished. Here are some of my favorite projects from 2009.

Old barn wood panelling in a bunkhouse build.

Tacky light fixtures in the bunkhouse.



Something I have long coveted, yes, a wagon wheel chandelier.



"How about a wagon wheel in the banister?" Or, carpenters who show off.



Favorite knitting creation in 2009.

Favorite doll created in 2009.

Living room curtains.

A reclaimed window from the house that was on the property before ours was built, framed, painted and hung.



This cigar box collage in my Rebecca Sower class at Silver Bella.

My girl's birthday journal. This is the best thing I have ever made with my own hands. Ever.

This blog. I started it in February 2009 and it has been a great combination of creativity, productivity and therefore prosperity. I value the space to write and show off photographs. My dark moments have some place to go and connect. I appreciate that you have come here and read my posts. I am indebted to the people who commented on my recent sad post as well. I specifically want to thank Sharron, Brigid, James Dean, Holly A., Jemellia, Holly Hall, , Nanette, Jerry, Angie, Sweetie, Alisa, Lisa and Penny. I receive your support and prayers and am lifted by it.

Thank you. I will put my head down and keep chugging. Whining all the while...

Right now...

...my daughter pulled her old portable keyboard into mother's room and is playing her song list.

I am listening from the kitchen as I cook dinner.

Snow falls with disregard.

This wouldn't be happening were my mother well,

tucked in her own home,

instead of mine...

Wrapped

That beautiful Scout is my oldest brother. He would go on to grow up and do all the things the kids did in the 50s. He would finish high school. Get drafted. Go to Vietnam. He would return and head off to school, his military haircut drawing war protesters to spit on him on an American college campus. He would struggle through the next 10 or so years of his life until he couldn't any more.

This year the holidays have been quite blue here. Earlier, I was so sick with the flu I had to cancel what may very well be my mother's last Thanksgiving. While slowly recovering I pushed through caring for my mother and tryed to put together a great birthday party for my daughter. The only Christmas decorating I could manage was the tree. Not even a wreath. I kind of cared but not really.

Friday a week ago my mother had declined so that we took her to the hospital via the emergency department. A blur of highs and lows followed. After a weight loss of over 25 pounds this year, we finally got a diagnosis, a stack of prescriptions and she was kicked out on Christmas Eve in a blizzard. My daughter did not make it home from her grandparents until 8 pm on Christmas Day. The few gifts we had this year remain under the tree this morning, wrapped.

There was a Christmas with wrapped presents under the tree on the 26th many years ago when I was my own daughter's adolescent age. We waited for my brother to come home. We had not heard from him. A call from the coroner's office told the story that he had been in the morgue for ten days. Unclaimed bodies are targeted for disposal at day 10, but our wonderful coroner looked at my brother and said "this boy has a family." He took it upon himself to call to ensure we had been notified. Of course we hadn't. We had been waiting for him. An Oklahoma City police officer, at the end of his shift 10 days prior, marked that he had come to our house and notified us. He simply did not. The apology which came a couple of weeks later didn't help much.

So here I am with gifts under the tree. Of course we are all alive this year. I know to be grateful about that. But actually I feel empty, hollow. My mother lives with me now. I have much to do physically and emotionally in the coming months. Right now I am not sure how I will muster the strength for it all. But I have done it before. We all have. Somehow you keep waking up, plowing forward, through the pudding that is exhaustion. Somehow another meal. Another load of laundry. A trip to the grocery store all the while screaming inside "I can't, I don't want to" and yet doing it anyway.

I can't tell this story out loud. I also can't post a pretty picture of the holiday. This is the blue truth today.

You Never Forget Your First Girlie

Last month, some gals and I went to The Girlie Show which is a Rosie the Rockin' Riveter kinda of girl power art show. It is our highest quality show in Oklahoma City. It was my first Girlie and I will be going back. Uh, stood in line to get in, in the cold wind. That is how good this dang thing is. I am going to show you what I bought and brag on these great artists.

Those little felted flower hairpins are by Quid. Heather is precious and runs a fabulous boutique and blog.



I fell completely in love with Janet Waldrop, of Skip 2 My Lou, last summer while in Tulsa at An Affair of the Heart. I bought this necklace then.



I know, right? At the Girlie Show I bought this bracelet made with 100 year old French ribbon.



I put it on, shopped around and was compelled to go back and buy something else. And no, I am not holding out on you for Janet's link. She doesn't compute. She works making these stellar collaged vintage pieces instead of sitting in front of the computer...hmmmm, interesting...look at this necklace.



I will just take a minute to tell you about Amy Baldwin of Curly Q Mosaics. She is completely cool for one thing and I love her face. I just do. She is very supportive of local artists and is a great customer for one thing. And then she does these mosaics you just have to see. I bought this little mushroom. Honestly, she is so talented I could just run her down with my car. but i might break the piece I am wanting, so I haven't done that, yet. You are welcome, Amy.



And this darling girl makes lovely jewelry, both new and vintage pieces. She's Natalie of Ornamental Things. I bought this necklace collaged from a button and an old brooch. Yum. It is just the perfect length and I wear it all the time.



Just really been into jewelry. An old obsession all new again. Hope the drooling didn't ruin your keyboard.

Curly Girly

The last tree topper for ya'. This girl has red hair, a little lighter than the last one and her hair is a wee bit curly!

Look at her balls! So sweet. I can get her to you before Christmas. She will make a great gift.

Find her on eBay.

Redhead Annie Tree Top

Here is another tree topper. She is available through eBay.

I have to say, I just finished making the best gift I have ever made. More on that later. Wish me luck with a sweet sixteen party. BitterSweet...

Winner and a Brunette Christmas Dolly

I have drawn a winner of my pillow posted on December 1. I put numbers on slips of paper, folded them, placed them in the 'ol cigar box, which was then shaken not stirred, and selected a number. That number is 6 which is Nanette! Nan, I will see you Sunday at our Garland class, shall I bring it then??? Congrats and thank you. Nan is an amazing doll maker herself. I am such a hack compared to her!

My next tree topper is a brunette and she is oh so cute. Look at her balls, uh, ball fringe...These girls are so sweet on top of your tree or on a candle stick for a centerpiece. She is listed on eBay.

Thank you guys for your comments and for reading me. I really appreciate it!

Marilyn Tree Top

Hey ya'll, I have listed another Tree Topper dolly with platinum blonde hair this time! you can find her on eBay.

Last day to enter my pillow give away. leave a comment here!

Annie Tree Top

Hi ya'll. I will be listing little handmade tree topper dolls each day this week on eBay. With a low starting bid and no reserve, I hope for my little girls to go to good loving homes. You can find this first little ginger-haired girl here.

Comments for my pillow give away close tomorrow at my bedtime! Leave a comment here.

To Market To Market

Just wanted to let you know I will be at Paper Crown Glitter Market today in Oklahoma City. Hope to see you there. The other vendors give me chills, such beautiful things.



Also, there is a give away on my last post so please leave a comment there to win my pillow!

Be Merry

I am welcoming in December and the Holiday Season with a new blog appearance and banner today. Awwwww, December. My child turns 16 this month. Nothing more to say about that. Today. I am happy to have it happen and also digging in my heels like Fred Flintstone. But let's think about this. I will give a pillow away to one of you as I appreciate it so much that you stop by and look at my view.

This pillow is completely hand made by me. The poinsettia ornie is hand painted and grungied up. The back is a black and taupe homespun with an envelope closure. There is an inner pillow I also made and stuffed very firmly in a fit of rage. Not really, I just like things firm. 'Be Merry' has been machine embroidered. It is 12 x 16 inches in size.

Leave a single comment on this post. I will randomly select a winner and announce the name next Monday, 7 December.

Again, thank you so much. I appreciate you more than you know.