Recently, I was with three friends. Two of us were talking about journaling. One pulled a roll of decorative tape from her purse and we joked about her having it.
The other said "I don't have time or money for that."
Not sure that that meant. Its tape. Journaling is pen and ink.
One of the cheaper obsessions I have had.
What I did is take that into my head as a critical voice.
I was off kilter for a few days, sort of diffusely angry.
As I went about my life I kept hearing that. I kept with
it wondering why I was reacting that way.
Then it hit me that I feel guilty for this time in my life
that allows me the luxury to create, specifically to journal.
Most of what I have created I have turned into product to sale. Now I mostly work for the sheer pleasure of using my hands. And I feel guilty for it!
I mean, I do it anyway but I steal the pleasure from myself
with the guilt I am choosing to feel...
Later I had a perfect day. Rode my bike, had a massage, a hot shower with good smelly products. I thought if today was my birthday then it was perfectly spent.
Oh wait, should I not celebrate every single day of living?
What if I did?
Just what if I did????
Sometimes we feel guilty for the strangest things. But, you processed it and came out on top!
ReplyDeleteYeah CoCo. I have learned just to stick with discomfort, it is always a sneaky teacher.
DeleteI love this post and so agree that every day should be celebrated!
ReplyDeleteYes, the trick is remembering to do it...
DeleteYou know, I think we always find the time to do what's important to us...obviously, journaling just didn't matter to her. I think you are doing just what you are meant to be doing...and doing it beautifully!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. My friend wants me to enjoy my life, maybe she is just struggling with finding her enjoy.
DeleteNever, Never, Never feel guilty about making time to be creative...we all need to enjoy every day we have on this earth and the talents given to us. Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteI try not to feel guilt, but I am so good at feeling it and yet keeping it disguised, ya know?
DeleteLooking forward to hearing about your Paris trip!
Love your post and your journal too ofcourse.
ReplyDeleteI´ve just recently started making stuff for me and find it really really difficult
justificing using time 'just for me' after having being creating things for sale for so long.
But I do enjoy it - a lot :-)
I enjoy it so much too. Just working it out. Always. Will I get it all worked out? Ha!
DeleteOh girl did this post strike a chord in me! I have felt guilty too loving this phase of my life.Three kids grown and one in the nest and I am enjoying the hell out of doing more for me! It is nice...and I will not feel bad for me time. :) I too get sooo discouraged and irritable at other peoples comments...lol hence that fakebook account. wink. I love watching your creative journey and the doodles. Carry on sweet bird.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the Boomer/Frog game too!
I an use anything to criticize myself. Anything. I need to shut up. I am trying, meanwhile, there is paint on my fingertips.
DeleteWearing Red Saturday and a TCU mom pin!
yes. yes. yes.
ReplyDeletetrying, trying, trying...
DeleteA woman dear to me told me that guilt was a choice.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that person just doesn't have time for her own thoughts, but we don't get those people.
Hmmmmm. It's true....
Delete