27 December 2012
A Precious Reward
Setting the table for four on Christmas Day, I decided to use my parent's dishes, mine now since they are gone. Growing up, my family ate every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on these "good" dishes.
I got four plates down and started setting the table. Holding that sweet 1960s plate, I was transported back, back to the sounds of the table, smells, my father's voice, the bowls including that canned cranberry, mother's sweet tea, back through a tunnel of time to my mother's house. When I realized I was in 2012 preparing a meal alone, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for those memories, for that childhood, for this day.
It occurred to me what progress that way. A corner turned.
It was a moment of reward for the last year and a half processing the fact that I have no family of origin. A few cousins I rarely hear from. A nephew, a relationship young for him to know me long. Processing that no one knows me before the age of 14. Feeling alone. Feeling pitiful. But on Christmas day 2012, I felt grateful for what I had. And still have, those precious times I can float back to...