17 August 2009

Babe Three Oh

Shelley and I started calling each other Babe many years ago, within the first year of our friendship.
"Hey Babe"
"Hey babe."
"Oh Babe, did I tell you...?"
"No way Babe!"
and so on. It still goes that way with us. Cards are signed "Babe, Happy Birthday, love, Babe." I just spent the weekend with her, returning from the Galveston Bay area with these pictures and thoughts. The following text and pictures are related only in that they both came home with me.

Hardly anything has been more important to me than the deep connections I have with friends. When I was in high school I established some very meaningful relationships that continue today. My mother recently remarked that in high school she told me this particular friendship with Shelley would not last, that it would all fade and fizzle out. Well, we have been friends for only 30 years. The really neat thing about Shelley is that our friendship has really evolved, grown and matured. We are not stuck in high school or college. We are right here right now in our friendship.

There is a group of 8 of us that email. There are only a handful of days in the last 8 or so years that have gone without an email from someone in that group. The more life happens to each of us, the closer were are drawn. If everything goes in our lives like it is supposed to, everyone will bury their parents. Of 8 of us, half have done just that. Two of us have lost both. Three of us have lost a brother, one has lost two. One of us has buried a child. That's what happens when thing go badly wrong.

We all have children. A couple have little ones, one waited, one kept having them. There is also a grandmother or two, or GILF which is by far preferable... Divorces, yes, past and current. Two are going through divorces now.

So when we get together there are tears. But mostly we laugh, eat, drink and pee frequently. We are all in your face friends that tell it like it is. This doesn't always go so well and yet we know how vital that kind of love is.

Weight goes up and down, kids start to drive, kids have good grades, kids have bad grades, husbands make us mad, husbands cheat, husbands buy massage tapes and love us like teenagers. Parents were alcoholics, parents were heroes. Therapists, prayers and margaritas, important for various needs at particular times...

The dynamic of just the two of us together this last weekend was that we didn't miss a word of what the other said. And there were a lot of words. A number of words roughly 4 times the average number a woman uses in a day. Maybe more. And, honey, many more to come...

Babe, thanks for a great weekend, love, Babe...


  1. How lovely! I am referring to the GILF part. Everyone is not so lucky...

  2. This post is so sweet. I really mean it, my heart totally melted. I made bad choices in high school. I picked some decent friends for myself and I also picked a few bad ones. I have only 1 left out of the whole bunch, and even she and I aren't that close anymore. So as someone who doesn't have a network of wonderful friends like that, I can tell you how lucky you are. I can also tell that you don't take a single one of them for granted. Not only do you HAVE awesome friends, you also ARE an awesome friend. And I'm thinking maybe that's why you've all stuck together through the years.

  3. Thanks for posting that - it helps me to feel like I was there (just without the hangover). What we have is special indeed - you are a big part of the glue that holds us together. Love and miss you - Ang

  4. Babe,
    I love you now and forever!

  5. Thirty years? How can that be, seeing as how you and Shell look not a day over 28? I so wish I could have been there last weekend.

  6. I am blessed to still have my very best friend in 3rd grade in my life. I also have an assorted handfull of jr and high school friends. We always pick up right where we left off. It is wonderful.

    Thank you for your warm words. They so help!

  7. Thank you for dropping my my blog! I'm so glad I dropped in...I enjoyed your recent posting!

  8. I so love the "We are all in your face friends that tell it like it is. This doesn't always go so well and yet we know how vital that kind of love is."

    That is the kind of friendship I desire more than anything!

    Love you!


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