04 April 2010

The Adored One is Born

By all accounts, he was the most beautiful baby ever born. Let me be more accurate. By my mother's account, he was the most beautiful baby anyone had ever seen. People stopped her to say so. He was my mother's most beloved child.

I didn't mind it all. I loved him most too.

He was 17 years old when I was born. You know how 17 year old boys are. We have all been in love with a seventeen year old boy, including most heterosexual men according to statistics. And I was so in love with my big brother.

Funny, brilliant, handsome. He even hung the moon. Did you know how it got there, why, it was my big brother.

I loved him so very much. I didn't mind at all that my mother loved him most. There were baby pictures and little boy pictures. Pictures with Santa. Pictures with the boy scout troup that dad lead. Pictures on a horse and in his little pee stained tiny cowboy boots. Lots of pictures of a boy I never knew.

And I adored him.

He would pick me up by one arm and one leg and swing me around in the yard. He would call me turdhopper and ask me to snatch peebles from his hand, made me leave the temple when I could not.

He was interested in medicine and God.

He played the guitar and harmonica simultaneously. Hideously.

Keith, Keith. So many years ago, full of hope. Then something happened to him. I was too young to hear any of it, or know, or be aware. My family considered me to young to hear any of it. To this day.

I am starting to figure it out though.


  1. Oh, so beautiful. I love this piece. I love the photos and seeing you as a little turdhopper with your brother and I love knowing how he is coming back to you at long last.

    Most of all, I love you.

  2. The beautiful ones always smash the picture, always. Every time.

    I love that smirk.

  3. I've been wondering how the moon got up there! This is a beautiful piece of writing.

  4. I wasn't expecting this ending Robin...you have to give me some kind of advance clue!
    He was beautiful, I hope you find what you are looking for...
    Happy Easter Sweets!

  5. oh my goodness..... This is so so sad, Robin.

  6. Oh my, he was beautiful. I hope you stumble upon some peace while looking for your answers, Robin.

  7. This is so sad. You never quite get over a suicide.

    I love the picture of you as an adoring sister. So innocent and cute!


  8. What do you even say to this, Robin? My heart is with you. Great pictures.

  9. Oh yes...what a pretty little boy! Why is it that little boys always seem to have the best lashes? How is that fair?
    I remember you speaking of your brother earlier in your blog....I hope you find the answers you need, and some peace too.

  10. What happened to him Robin???

  11. Very powerful! I can hear the love you have for him.


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