16 May 2010

Get a Hobby She Said

Five months. Five long months. Betty Jean has been my primary focus for five straight months. She requires 24 hour supervision and assistance. I was on death watch for the first four months. I asked her doctors for Hospice and both said no. I was shocked. She is so chronically sick and weak and needs constant care. I realized she is chronic, ill but stable. She continues to decline but its pretty slow. This is the new normal. She has quite a bit of time left. She needs increasing care and assistance. Now what? Do I continue to provide 100% of my efforts to her, or is it time to turn my attention to my husband and daughter? We need a little more balance. I knew it this was coming. I knew mother was aging and there is only one way that story will end. But the details are a mystery. Of course they are. I guess I thought the decisions would be more obvious. She lived her life small, slow, steady. Her decline is small, slow and steady.

Five long long months ago, I told my husband to get a hobby. I knew my priorites would be mother and my child and since he is a big boy, he would have to go on the back burner. No it isn't fair but there is only so much attention to go around. And I need it from him. Harsh, maybe. True though. So I said "husband, get a hobby not a girlfriend."

He did.

He has a very full-time job. He leaves every morning at 6:30 and walks in at 6:20. Every day. Also he has had two weeks off since I have known him. Work is his life. During his off time, he works. He enjoys work. So his hobby involves work of course. He loves wood and was a carpenter before his current career. He started with reclaimed barn wood which he loves to work with. Beams and flooring. He uses it for his own projects and sells to others.

Barn doors. Architectural items.

Buckets of hardware.


Okay, husband. Enough already.

And yet there's more.

He has been such a foundation of strength for me while I have been a bit unpleasant at times. Also, I want everything from his hobby for myself.


  1. Uh, I wanted his hobby to be reclaiming lost butter. I'm reporting that last photo as offensive.

  2. Jemellia you are too funny! Robin he is as bad as you! Once into a new hobby you both go guns a blazing!! I guess we are all like that:)

  3. Don't blame you, Robin. When you are giving everything out, of course you want all of his time!

  4. He's done good with his hobby!! I want it too!
    Keep on trucking, baby....

  5. If you give me the drawers, I'll forgive you for all the bitching you just did...I promise :)
    Seriously girl...he's a keeper...he's good with his hands ;)
    Be patient. Be nice. Be strong.

  6. You've got a good 'un there, and I'm glad.

  7. Yes, I do love a man who is good with his hands. Amazing how the two of you have an eye for gathering things and making beautiful art from them.

    Speaking of which, I got a little surprise in the mail today. To say I am touched is such an understatement. I finally get it - "I am enough". I'm going to blog about it but I'm not nearly the photographer you are. I want to do it justice.

    Thanks babe!

  8. robin,
    i can totally understand your pissed-off'd-ness! how hard is it to get on a mailing list, really? not to worry, dear friend, i am clueless as to what is going on most of the time there, too..............franc

  9. In my opinion, working with reclaimed barnwood and taking care of a wonderful gal like yourself is WAY better than having 10 girlfriends on the side. I'm glad you've got such a good man. It sounds like you two are perfect for each other- selfless, hard workers who just so happen to be incredibly creative. I love it.

  10. Thanks, dear Robin, for the nice comment. Hope that wasn't your last "gasp"! :-)

  11. picked up some old dolls from a church sale and thought of you....hope all is well with you. you and jem looked so pretty at the canvas class at pc.

  12. ltorneten@cox.netJuly 20, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    How do I buy from your husband? And see his finished works?


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