11 April 2010

Shine


I recently received a very gracious invitation to a Private Kaari Meng Event hosted by Shea Fragoso and Deb Murray at The Church in Dallas. Jemellia and I attended and were simply elated, dizzy even.


There was laughter, tears, tools and a little bit of embarrassment on my part.

I sign up for these events, workshops and art classes for 3 reasons. First is to create and learn new skills. Creating is life-giving for me and I mean that in the dramatic way it sounds. Creating centers me and makes me return to that divine, child-like self who makes something then runs through the house saying "Mama, look, looky what I made."

 Necessary.


Second is I want to interact with like-minded women. I have always loved the company of women. I enjoy men and their productive simplicity, but I yearn to fly my pink patchwork girl flag. And my classmates get it. I can be my true self. A little obnoxious, a little off-color, emotional and comedic. Also love a kit, a challenge and the task at hand.

Comforting.


Thirdly, it forces me out of my insular world so I am challenged, forced into a group setting, a new physical place, all innately uncomfortable for me. I'm not comfortable walking into a room I have not seen and a group of people I do not know. It is interesting that I have been a college adjunct professor for over 20 years where I am constantly walking into a room of strangers and performing. That is also my best talent. By the end of each semester, I think my students have been introduced to some biological information and understanding on a deeper level. In turn, I am filled by getting to know them and what they remind me about myself. But, I shake and quake before absolutely every lecture, every event and every class of every kind I walk into. The fear is instructive. So I keep doing it. However, I always recriminate and lash myself for what my mouth said.

Uncomfortable therefore instructive.


I am feeling weird and gross after this Kaari Meng Gilded Life event. I have been joking about my love for Kaari for a while. I have gone so far as to say I would just hump that sweet lady's leg because I love her so much. Oh that's all funny until I stammer, stutter and act all goofy-star-struck around her. Yuck on me. What the hell? I mean we are peers in age, why am I such a dip shit? I just was not myself in my own skin in her company. I wanted her to like me so much that I was probably unlikeable. I have two more events to attend where I've signed on for 3 more classes with her. I feel embarrased. I mean, I know it doesn't cross her radar screen because she meets so many people. Oh and by the way, one reason I admire her so much, other than love and respect for her artistry, is the fact that she really tries to connect with each person she speaks to. And hungry 'ol me was making the least out of that.


The above is an amalgam I made of charms given to each student. Initial charm by Shea and Debbie, a flower charm from Heather Ales and a couple of dangles from Kaari's kit.

The outcome.

Confronting fear is the real reason I need to keep doing things like this workshop. To meet new people, see new things, learns new skills, create and ultimately grow. Shit.

14 comments:

  1. Fabulous pictures! We always have harder feelings regarding our actions than the recipient, does that make sense? Don't be so hard on yourself, POD-ner.

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  2. Robin, It would be positively impossible to NOT fall in love with you.

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  3. Robin.... I get everything your saying! I've always been such a wallflower. Making eye contact, surely NOT!!!!

    I'm getting so much better! It isn't easy!

    Just love the jewlery! Beautiful!

    Ruth ;)

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  4. Hi Robin!
    I like you! Thanks for the teacup - it's already on my dresser filled with flowers. See you in Omaha!

    K.

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  5. Hi Robin! Just so you know, I came home and made chocolate buttercream icing to ice a cake for a party Sarurday night. I then proceeded to lick the bowl until I got that sugar ache in my jaw. It made me miss you. I think I'm a little in love with you, or at least your beaded bracelet cuff.
    Xoxo-Stacy

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  6. You know people more than likely don't see you the way you do... at least that's what I'm banking on regarding my own actions! ;)

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  7. Hehehe, I love you Robin, you crack me up! And your creations are awesome!!! I want to do a class/retreat some day....I would probably be a nervous nelly too. Its always a bit of a 'I'm in the 7th grade and dont have anyone to have lunch with" sick feelings~

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  8. I love creating with like minded women for so many of the reasons you stated. I adore Kaari too....everything she does is absolutely lovely and full of detail. I am beyond excited to go on her France trip in July.

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  9. Hi Robin, thanks for stopping by. I have a friend that's super creative for making jewelry. I'd love to be able to do that. Have a great evening, Theresa

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  10. This made me laugh out loud...but i know part of it isn't so funny because I "suffer" from the same disease.

    I just LOVE your necklace. Major WOW!

    Suz

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  11. Robin, this post made me laugh out loud. Boy can I relate to the stammering and stuttering and making a fool of myself in front of someone I SO want to impress (Kaari Meng included).

    Love your creations!

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  12. I will arm wrestle you for that necklace!!!
    Love ittttt!!!
    Glad that yall had a nice little creatin' vaca.
    I still feel like a insecure 10 year old at times..good to know that I am not alone.
    You are sooo tiny!!!

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  13. Hi Robin!
    Thanks for stopping by. I love your brightly colored blog layout!...It's so happy...:)
    Lenae

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  14. You are not the only one that gets silly headed around our crafting "superstars"!!!!!

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You have no idea how much this comment means. I really thank you for taking time to connect with me. This is why we are here, isn't it?

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