Whole Again

Another page in stages. I am learning to be sloppy and more free.

Definitely channeling the work of Roben-Marie Smith and Tina Jensen.

Oh the joy and beauty of this.

Also this girl. This girl!

 Home from sophomore year, just turned twenty, my favorite person.

I gave birth to my favorite person.

We laugh at nothingness often.

Lists

I love to make lists. I love to cross things off.

I did biochemistry and molecular biology research for 7 years and loved planning my work, researching, making the list of tasks then performing the tedious repetitive motions to complete the plan.

I found it all oddly creative.

Now with art there is no true need for a list. Mary Ann Moss talks about responding to the 'committee in her head,' just doing what she is told, without thinking.

I find myself doing that now with the tearing, gluing, smearing and drawing.

So where's the list?

Its in the photos of the work I take.

I get in bed at night and look at pictures of the progess for the day.

It is akin to a list-

a retroactive visual list...

Family Tree

 

Thinking a whole lot about my family tree.

Birth order. What's left.

 At 50, I am still working this out?

 

Recently, I was with three friends. Two of us were talking about journaling. One pulled a roll of decorative tape from her purse and we joked about her having it.

The other said "I don't have time or money for that."

 

Not sure that that meant. Its tape. Journaling is pen and ink.

One of the cheaper obsessions I have had.

 

What I did is take that into my head as a critical voice.

I was off kilter for a few days, sort of diffusely angry.

 

As I went about my life I kept hearing that. I kept with

it wondering why I was reacting that way.

Then it hit me that I feel guilty for this time in my life

that allows me the luxury to create, specifically to journal.

Most of what I have created I have turned into product to sale. Now I mostly work for the sheer pleasure of using my hands. And I feel guilty for it!

I mean, I do it anyway but I steal the pleasure from myself

with the guilt I am choosing to feel...

Later I had a perfect day. Rode my bike, had a massage, a hot shower with good smelly products. I thought if today was my birthday then it was perfectly spent.

Oh wait, should I not celebrate every single day of living?

 

What if I did?

Just what if I did????

Playing Cards

Stephanie Ackerman recently came to Oklahoma City to teach a couple of classes at My Heart's Fancy. I enrolled in both because she's great and I love to support people who come here. We get a lot of really great classes going here didja know?

Alisa came into town from the Dallas area. Here is She and Stephanie.

 

We made mixed media collage on playing cards

using lots of products I had not used and now own.

I promptly used my products and new techniques to bust out this journal.

I love this. Love. This. Thank you Stephanie.

Dude. Lee.

After having enjoyed Dawn DeVries at Handmade U in Spring 2012,

I enrolled in her online Doodle Camp.

Over a one week period we made a little journal and started coloring, basically.

There is something about Dawn's prompts that feel like permission

rather than assignments to me.

I have done this mix of amorphous color with the fine control of the black ink.

I was quite low through July and my work reflects it, not in content but in scale.

Small. Tedious. For that is often all I can handle.

 

I am obsessed with getting doodly.